Speaking the Truth in Love (Ephesians 2:2-16)
Gary McManus, 10/16/2016Part of the Words that Divide, Words that Unite series, preached at a Sunday Morning service
October 16, 2016
Ephesians 4:2-3, 15-16 (p.1158 / p. 1175)
Last time I wanted to emphasize:
1. The reality of difficult relationships
even with some Christians.
2. That no matter how much pain in relationship,
healing and redemption are possible.
3. Jesus is the key for relationships.
4. Even as Christians we are not required
to remain in some relationships.
Love isn’t staying, love is truth telling.
Rules for “fighting”
1. Do you need to schedule
the “fight”?
2. Keep to one topic. If other
topics come up, note it and come
back to it but continue on one topic.
3. If necessary, slow the communication
down until the first person believes that
they have been heard then proceed after
the other person feels heard.
4. Always respect (and try kindness)
5. There are “hits below the belt”
that are not allowed. The exercise
is to identify and negotiate, not
annihilate.
Here are the kinds of responses you might
make to an angry child (for example, if
the child would say, “I wish you were
dead.” (a not uncommon occurance)).
Possible responses:
9You want to acknowledge their anger and
frustration but the words cannot stand.
you can say “Let’s find out what you really need or want. . .”
‘It is okay to be angry but we need to communicate accurately.”
Or ask questions—“tell me more”, “is it something I’m
doing or something you are feeling?”
“What is it you mean to say?”
What ARE you talking about?
Try not to assume you know the issue, ask.
There might be more than one problem.
Find out.
Jesus’ own instructions: if there is something
between two people, they need to hash it out
first. (Matthew 15:15-17)
Do point out what is obvious to you; your
feelings.
Just because someone is a family member
(or a Christian family member) does not give them
a green light to mistreat us.
Rspect and kindness are the “golden rule.”
“Speak the truth in love.”
Relationships are two people. If only one wants
a relationship, the relationship can’t happen.
Addicts are an example.
Some are motivated by their Christian faith to keep
relationships with difficult people. We confuse
forgiveness with tolerating their behavior.
Some believe that if we are to love that person,
we must stay in the relationship.
Love is holding the person accountable for their
behavior. Love is letting that person reap what they sow.
(Galatians 6:7)
God's will for us is not tied to our relationship
with toxic people.
Not everyone we have a relationship with is
motivated by Jesus--even if they claim Jesus' name.
We are to be controlled by Jesus, not by someone else.
In John 2:4, even Jesus questions his mother’s
suggestion. Jesus must obey God first, not His mother.
(See also Mark 3:21)
Prayer helps immensely. Amen.
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